I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
