I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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