you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
