you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she looked like the before picture.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
