4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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