Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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