i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
