Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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