This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i dont even know how to be here
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize