Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
