Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
