Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
