I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've blown a few things in my day
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
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I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
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Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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