I just threw up on my dentist
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize