Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
