using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
