Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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