I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
