You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
