so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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