you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
