a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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