If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
