Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
