TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize