Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
