Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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