when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Farmville is her only friend.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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