Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
operation have a gay friend backfired
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize