Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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