I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
