Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
