Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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