I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
