Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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