I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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