your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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