If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
