guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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