Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
