she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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