I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
