My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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