You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
bring money and cleavage
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
