At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
