Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
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"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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