Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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