Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
