Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
