i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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