He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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