used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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