So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
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Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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