Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
