Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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