there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
