Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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