nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I need a beard to bite.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
