i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
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Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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