Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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