dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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