I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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