i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
