my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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